The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
