i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
