He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need to sanitize my soul.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All the doctor said was why
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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