I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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