So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
