Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
