The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
