Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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