think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I need moral support for this bender
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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