i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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