two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
