can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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