Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize