Your face is a jimmy john
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
wow bdsm is so cute
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