i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
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