I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
