He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
