maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
