That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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