he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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