Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
