i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
