I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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