so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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