dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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