my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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