i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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