You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
