When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
