I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize