He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize