we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
