So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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