Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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