Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
