I'm eating all of the evidence.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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