The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
