I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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