she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
