How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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