I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
