Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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