If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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