dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
