I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
