he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize