A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
