Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
