In the future we'll all be gay
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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