Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
