wanna go halves on a baby?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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