I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
