i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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