walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
