he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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