she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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