Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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