I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
