I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
