Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
