I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
