Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
