My room smells like vodka and shame
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
