You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
