I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
